2018. The year that it happens.

​We are almost two weeks into 2018 and I’m still chasing my writing dreams. I have two main goals:

1. Post a new chapter to AMACHE’S AMERICA on Channillo.com every week until it’s complete
2. Self-publish THE CUBE

Whoa, did I just sneak the words “self-publish” into this blog post? Why yes, ladies and gentlemen, yes I did. But, let’s tackle one thing at a time. 

As for Amache’s America, it’s a pure joy to write and it keeps me writing every week. I love the characters, I love the story, and the one chapter a week goal seems very attainable to me. It’s also a source of great positivity in my life. I love seeing it listed under “Most Popular” on the website homepage and it’s now consistently listed in the “Featured” section as well. I also get reader feedback and it’s all been so kind. It’s a joy to have people read what I’m writing and know that they are enjoying it. 

So… why finish it then? Why not just have it go on and on? Well, because for this particular serial novel, I do have an end in mind. I might start another series on Channillo when this is done that is more open ended, but for this particular tale, I know it has a beginning, middle, and end. The end I can picture for sure. 

Plus, I’m going back to the Writing Workshop of Chicago this summer and I’m hoping, after upping it to one chapter a week, Amache’s America will be complete enough to pitch it to agents by then. After more than a year of researching the market, I think a female-driven, Japanese-American, personal story has a better chance of getting picked up than a male-centered, high-concept, sci-fi novel does. In fact, recently I contributed to the #AsAmCreatorRollCall hashtag on twitter, a lovely effort to help promote and lift up Asian-American creators in 2018, and it felt good to step my toe into the waters of the diverse writers community. There’s a big call right now for diverse voices. And hey, guess what… that’s me! 

Side note: I’m also looking forward to the conference this summer because I won’t be so nervous and it won’t seem like there is so much riding on it. It will be nice to go in with more confidence.

Now, back to The Cube. Self-publish you say? After all of the posts about query letters and agents and wanting to see my book on bookshelves? I should clarify that I’m actually hoping to work with a hybrid-publisher… and when I get further down that line I will 100% share my experiences will you. But, here’s the long and short of it:

• I sent out over 30 query letters. It took so many hours to research and produce each one. I got varying responses, all of which were lovely, many telling me to keep trying, but my gut is telling me that my book will not get picked up. I struggle with whether this is defeatist or educated, but I’m going to lean towards educated. I follow so many publishers and agents on Twitter. I read the posts. I can see what’s happening in the market right now. If my book were a YA book it might be a different story. But it’s not. And that’s okay. I love my book. I just don’t think it’s what is on agents’ lists right now.
• Query letters are also a lot of work, and honestly, my priorities have shifted. I have a new job. My daughter is growing up. I have my friends, my family, my church, my exercise classes and gym buddies, we’ve got a lot of travel planned for this year… and so much more. I don’t want to be locked in my office for hours every Sunday sending out query letters, the hope and agony of each one weighing on me as my gut tells me it’s not going to work (see bullet #1)
• I’ve been inspired by my fellow Chicago Writers Association members, my #WritersQuick5 crew, my fellow Channillo members, and the writers I’ve met on social media that every journey is unique and there is no right answer. It’s okay to change the vision of what I thought my path would be. 
• When I step away from The Cube and go back and read it, I still absolutely love it. And I find things I’m impressed I wrote. Is it a perfect book? No, but no book is. Is it a good book? Yes. It is. My instinct is to qualify it and say something like “for a debut” or “while I’m still learning” but the truth is, all that does is diminish my love for it. It is a reflection of where I was in my life and the work and time I put into it and I am still, to this day, happy with the result. 

So, I’m starting my hybrid-publisher research and am declaring that 2018 is the year. This is the year it will happen. That I will make my dreams come true. That I will have my own book. In my hands. And that people can buy it and read it. Man. That just sounds so frickin’ cool. 

2018. Time to focus. 2018. The year that it happens.